Getting a divorce can be one of the most stressful challenges you’ll undertake. Separating from your spouse can cause a variety of problems for you personally. You’re left making huge financial decisions while you alter your life plans and process complicated, painful emotions. For a lot of people, the pain of a divorce can make them behave in ways they otherwise wouldn’t. Parents especially might find themselves tempted to make decisions that could ultimately hurt their children. Even well-intentioned parents sometimes put pressures on their children without meaning to. Divorce, while hard for spouses, can be absolutely devastating for children. Divorce can get eve more complicated when one or both parents try to use their kids to manipulate one another. When considering the divorce, one must think about the financial and emotional stakes for the children involved. If you’re going through a divorce, there are some basic steps you can take to ensure that your children are not negatively impacted by change.
The NY Daily News offers insightful tips for handling a divorce when you have children. First and foremost, parents should be aware that children are not pawns. They should not be used in any way, form, or fashion to gain the imaginary upper hand during a divorce. The spouse you are divorcing is also a parent to your child or children. Even if you are angry with your spouse, you still need to respect their rights as a parent. Your child will benefit greatly if you treat them and their other parent with integrity.
When it comes to specifics of how to handle the changes brought about by divorce, it’s important to always assure your child of your unconditional love. Don’t put pressure on them to behave a certain way around your spouse and remind them constantly that you will support them no matter what. When children feel like they are somehow to blame or somehow implicated in their family’s upheaval, it can cause emotional distress that affects a child’s school life and physical health. Knowing that they are loved without question by both parents can go a long way towards helping a child properly cope during a divorce.
Additionally, some parents try to empower their children by giving them choices about which spouse they want to spend weekends or holidays with. It might seem like a good thing to respect your child’s wishes, but many kids can feel pressured by this sort of big responsibility. They might feel like choosing one parent somehow betrays the other. They could also be tempted to use the divorce to make demands about parental behavior, hinting that they will only choose to spend time with one or the other if certain conditions are met. It’s best to remove that possibility by deciding, with your spouse, how your child will spend their time. A skilled divorce lawyer can help parents figure out what’s best for their child or children during a separation.Read More